This coming Sunday's episode of Paradigms has been in the works for over 7000 years! We will meet Bejawi people, learn a bit about their history and their present day existence, and hear some great music from the Bejawi lands in the northeastern part of Africa. Paradigms Sunday Feb 21 8 PM EST on WBKM.org

http://paradigms.bz
http://wbkm.org

I am very happy to announce the launch of the new Paradigms website! Check it out. This is the brilliant creative work of Greg and Leah at PictMedia.

So, drumroll, if you have or haven't visited the old site, please check out the new site! http://paradigms.bz/

So so much gratitude to all my sisters! On this full moon, which is close to perigee, Wolf Moon, Imbolc Moon, Moon in Leo.

It’s been a rough couple of days. I’ve had a couple of melt downs, wept and raged. I’ve ingested too much media a few times. I hit financial zero, literally coughing into the gas station, running on fumes when I finally had money to buy gas with.

Tonight the moon is full and huge and shining and I am filled with gratitude.

I wasn’t born with sisters from my mother and father. I have always connected well with women. The two women who knew me longest are both dead,my friend Madelin who knew me from ages 9 to 41, with whom I acknowledged the bond of brother and sister, and my mother who I got along with best when we were friends. The mother son thing wasn’t so great. I’ve grieved them both. I am still working through a lot of feelings about my mother’s murder.

Driving home tonight it became clear to me that these two women, sisters to me really, were the first of many. I am blessed with many sisters in the world, all over the world, and I am so grateful for those people, those relationships, what I learn and share with and from them. Thank you all my sisters!

Tonight I will be going out under the moon, sometime around 11, to make an offering and marvel at the cosmos. Maybe some of the people who read this will join me, wherever they are.

Blessed be.

Midwinter is always a time of introspection for me. I sleep a lot, I dream a lot, I don't do a lot of external stuff. Anyone watching me for the last few weeks would see someone who eats and sleeps, takes care of the living space, talks with the cat, does some visiting; nothing big in terms of externals. I am still teaching and producing Paradigms, but I've also been watching movies and making applejack and really being pretty low key.

I find myself arriving in a new place as far as grieving for my mother goes. It's been 5 and a half years since she was murdered. I've been missing her a lot lately. I've also been peeling back layers during these years, and am now encountering another layer of anger. It's been hard for me to get to the anger at whoever killed her. I've felt angry, but I've stayed away from the big rage. I can speculate as to why, but bottom line is my psyche wasn't ready so I didn't go there. Today I felt like I could take a baseball bat to the person and hurt them. Badly.

I have not been violent towards other living creatures many times in my life. Maybe a couple of times I've struck out at another human, and I'm ashamed to say I have smacked my dog a few times. I don't think of myself generally as a violent person. In fact I reject violence as acceptable behavior. I don't want to be a violent person. This anger brings me into contact with feelings I don't like or want to feel; the kind of feelings that lead people to behave in ways I find unacceptable. So now I am facing a contradiction in myself.

I haven't focused on Haiti a lot. I just didn't feel it. Today I closed my eyes and visited Haiti astrally, or in my imagination, however one wants to see that. I heard the moaning and crying of those who are still buried alive. I could feel them under the rubble. There are thousands. I felt the current, the force of awareness, like electricity moving through my body. I saw spirits whose bodies had just died leaving Earth, floating up, flying up. It reminds me of Sept 11, 12, 13 2001 when I had similar experiences. I know that the shock of such a death can take some getting used to. I also know that these people, these beings, these energies, freed from their broken bodies, and for many their very hard lives, are now released from the physicality of life on Earth. They are their truest selves, unencumbered with the baggage of human life.

Welcome to 2010.