What's next?

It's the day after my 66th birthday. I'm at a point in my life where there's really nothing I am looking forward to. It's not depression, I just have no big aspirations left. I do what I do, and that's fine. If I were going to have a big project it would be to find a piece of land and build a house, or find an existing house and Homestead, but I don't know if I'm really up for it. I don't have the money, and it looks like a dauntingly large project if I were to undertake it. So, I don't know. What comes next?

Something has changed in the way I view the world and geopolitics. I am no less disgusted or saddened, but I'm tired of making myself sick over it all. There's really only so much I can do. It's not enough, it can never be enough, that's why there's so many of us because all of our concerted efforts, together, hopefully can be enough to make things better. In the meantime, I'm living this life and making choices, and just doing what I can.

I took a week off from work for my birthday, and came over to the west side of Vancouver Island, and rented a cabin for a few days. I've been walking on the beach, soaking in the hot tub, taking sauna, sleeping in; it's been mostly overcast and today is raining so I built a fire in the fireplace. I spend so little time just being these days. I'm always doing, whether it's clients or radio show or just going for walks or whatever, I'm always doing. I used to know how to relax and just sit and be, so I'm going to go sit and be in front of the fire for a while.

Going within to serve that which is without

 How amazing to realize it's been so long since my last blog entry. I've taken the last couple of days off to sleep and fast, something I haven't done in a while. It feels really good. It gives me a chance to release some stress and give my body a break, and for my mind to travel and dream. I encounter lots of emotions, memories, visions of the past and the present, and to ask for visions of a possible future that is of humanity as we evolve towards our fullest potential. I'm definitely biased in favor of a future that in my mind is positive, so I envision humanity as kinder and more conscious, and harmonious with the rest of life on earth.

The strife, the cruelty, the suffering of life forms; all of what is happening now with humanity is so sad to me. I know it's not the only way, but it is what we're doing, and wishing it would change is not enough. We humans can only make this a better world by changing ourselves.

There are so many life-affirming harmonious, beautiful directions that humans take. I just interviewed two women who wrote a beautiful gardening book that people can learn from and enjoy. Grow food and build community with. That's happening all over the world. People are rescuing forests, and lakes, and the animals, and each other. There is so much of the goodness that we love. The horrible stuff is by no means all that humans are doing, but there's so much of it.

I really don't know what it will take for us to turn this whole thing in a healthier direction. Maybe we're doing it and it's just taking a while, or maybe we're really going in the wrong directions and we can't see it. I don't know. I know that every day I do my best to be in service to my intentions of healing and encouraging and affirming those beautiful, loving parts of humanity. That's what I can do. Maybe there's something I'm missing that I could be, should be doing. If there is, I hope it is revealed to me soon.

My message to you, to anyone reading this, is that I hope you take the love and give out the love, and that your days are also in service to your most loving intentions. I hope to that the suffering, the sorrow, the cruelty, all that stuff, becomes less and less a part of your life, less and less a part of our world.