16 January 2011

The sun is shining through the clouds. It’s in the high 20’s F outside, not really cold. Occasional snow floats down from the sky. The stoves in the house are keeping it warm in the earthship, around 50 F.

I am in a period of time where I am working on projects and awaiting/inviting inspiration for others. There are no demands on my time. It’s quiet. I feel pretty raw. I am aware that I am avoiding a lot of feelings; of grief and frustration, and anger. Through the wonders of modern technology it is possible to avail oneself of lots of information, which is made available through corporate political and individual filters, about what is happening around the world today. The mental snapshot that is aggregated in my mind from the information I receive, is a distressing one. Really distressing. Of our people, my people, the other humans, with whom I share more similarities than differences, so many are in dire straits, through natural occurrences and human made ones. Humans are inflicting violence upon each other and upon Earth. The violence takes many forms, from outright physical violence to economic, psychological, and spiritual violence, violation. And earth is changing, in part due to human activities and most likely, as part of natural cycles.

Here I am doing what I can from within this context. I manage to touch a lot of people even being in a singular location. That’s a gift, a responsibility, and some solace. The ocean of feelings though is not reduced in quantity or scope or depth, and I have to gauge and measure and take care not to avoid it entirely but not to drown in it, not to be flooded, so that I can keep functioning. I imagine many people feel similarly.

It is a certainty that my friends and family are what keeps me going. I am sustained by you, both literally in terms of physical support, and in those unquantifiable ways of love and connection. That fills me with joy actually. My life is a great example of a journey into a more interconnected existence.