25 January 2023

David Crosby...Hail The Goer!

 I'm listening to David Crosby singing the Joni Mitchell song "For Free" and getting ready to start my day seeing clients for psychotherapy.  I see around 30 people a week, give or take.

Some days I wake up and think about the day before me and I have a sense of how it'll go, usually feeling positive.  Some days I wake up and feel overwhelmed by the day before me, by what I will do and by the world in general.

It's been this way for many years, for me...it's all one long day, with sleep periods.  A day goes by fast, a week goes by fast, months and years...speeding by.  I was 5, I was 15, I was 44, now I'm almost 63.  It goes fast. 

There's a lot of beauty and wonder in this life, for me at least, and also a lot of sadness and frustration with what I see, have seen my whole life; humans continuing to make choices that destroy beauty and wonder and innocence, from our wars to our polluting, from our fear-mongering religions to our exploitive economics, humans are doing that thing of repeating actions we already know are deadly or immoral, and hoping for different results this time, this time, this time.

Like many others I tell myself "there are better ways for us to be" and strive to embody those, but we are all part of the dysfunction; buying, using, throwing away...even when we recycle and compost, it's pretty difficult (not impossible) to live in a way that doesn't contribute to the polluting and exploiting. 

I find that I want to end these blog entries with some sort of concluding statement, but I don't have one.  I am left hanging with the big questions just like everybody else.  At least we are in it together.

18 July 2022

What have we done?

This planet is amazing.  It provides everything we need on the physical plane and much inspiration and beauty for our ineffable selves to be nourished by.  And yet in just over a few thousand years we have turned much of this place into a polluted toxic hellhole, and the areas we haven't polluted yet, we're working on polluting as fast as we can.  Humanity seems to have some kind of deathwish.  I can't say I really object.  ALL the life forms on this planet would be better off without humans.  There are no life forms who benefit long term from human activity, including humans!  

Many philosophers, poets, and other artists have observed the contradiction that lies deep within humanity. We are capable of such creativity and of engaging with life in gentle loving ways, but we are also capable of immense cruelty, of ignoring what's right in front of us, and of a selfishness that is a betrayal to our kinder nature and to all that is offered to us by nature.

Many of us spend our lives attempting to put something good into the mix, healing, awareness, kindness, honesty.  The image I have is of walking through a toxic minefield scattering blossoms, which are lovely and fragrant but still the toxic minefield grows, extending in all directions. I don't know about you but I am feeling exhausted by this.

I'm not looking for solutions or answers or to be comforted.  This is how it is here.  Coming to terms with it is painful, sad, and can take my breath away.

25 June 2022


I have been so angry and sad watching the dismantling of civil rights in the United States this week by an illegitimate Court.  I am still enraged and disgusted, but the bottom line is that I am blown away by the love of cruelty displayed by the Republicans, the fundamentalist Christians, the Nazis, the KKK, etc., who have made common cause to harm those of us who are happy living outside of their paradigm.  They just can't stand the idea that people would be enjoying life, sexuality, each other, not according to the pathologically rigid repressive erotophobic anti-life strictures of their archaic and cruel religious beliefs. It makes them crazy that people can actually be allowed to be themselves no matter their race, class, gender, orientation, etc. so they set out to cause harm. Yes, it's about the cruelty.  The repressive nature of the christofascist white supremacist belief system perverts pro-life impulses into hate and violence and pleasure in causing harm.  We are witnessing something, it's not the first time, but it is happening; the birth of another rendition of the dark ages, when ignorance was enforced through religious hegemony, where life is not valued and the very few rule sadistically over the many.  The only question is, will we stand for it?  A wise woman spoke yesterday at a gathering and talked about how each time this patriarchal system assumes power, they are defeated more quickly.  May it be so.  So mote it be.

05 June 2022


 Zeus is a puppy I met a few weeks ago at a local animal shelter.  He's almost grown into his feet so 14 months maybe?  Pit Bull mix, sort of a cinnamon color with a while blaze on his chest.  At the shelter he was alone in a cage and I went to him and gave him treats and he was very very very enthusiastic, and when I got up to go he just sat down and wailed.  Really heartbreaking.  He's very much a baby still.

Friday afternoon I picked Zeus up at the shelter and brought him home.  He is happy to be here and very curious, checking everything out.  He is very affectionate, starved in fact, and he's got a powerful little body and puppy energy.  We're working on "sit" which he now does, and "off" and "no jumping" which he is starting to respond to. He loves to chase the ball or the kong.  He likes the different foods he's getting.  He listens to everything and watches my every move and is clearly "taking it all in."  I suspect he hasn't lived in a house before.  He's a little head shy, so he was probably hit.  I am clumsy and I dropped a knife on the tile floor while cooking last night and he was very upset and frightened. He recovered quickly, though, with gentle coaxing and affection.  He runs around then he crashes, typical puppy.  He barks when he hears someone at the door or at the door to the next door place.

It's a beautiful thing, watching him blossom in a loving secure comfortable space.  He's been waiting for this.

Zeus needs a permanent home.  I can only have him for the summer as I have travel plans.  He will be some lucky someone's really great dog for a long time.  Anyone who's interested can contact me through this blog. He needs a good home with space, preferably country, and loving people who will treat him with kindness and invite him into their family.

There are so many animals who need homes.  I knew it, but going to the shelter and seeing all the dogs and cats, and so many kittens, I had to respond. Hint hint 😊