Mendocino County, off in the hills, off the grid, sunshine, warm, quiet. We left Seattle on Tuesday and got here Wednesday afternoon. It feels good. Up north the rain and low pressure were getting to me. Here, I am decompressing.

I'm so in love with the green man. He's all around. There's so much life and juiciness, even in these drier lands.

Tomorrow I'll head to the ranch.

Just past equinox, and still in Montana. I never want to leave, whenever I come here. I will head out on Thursday...I think.

Personally I'm experiencing some major shifts. I've received Reiki attunements which feels like something has been accelorated in my field. I've been running the energy, especially with Lasky due to her skin issues. I've also been experiencing reviewing old stuff, relationships with unresolved or funky endings, seeing more of where I could have done things differently, and where I see I really did do the best I could have.

A major unresolved relationship issue comes from my teen years when I first was in love with someone, which experience left me with some deep wounds around my sexuality. It is rare for me to feel those sort of feelings for someone, and there is someone I know now, who lives near where I am now, who inspires a similar kind of love in me. What's different now is that the other person is not shaming me or being rejecting, but is loving and a friend. We saw each other over the weekend, and what's happened for me is that the wound I've carried is healing, is in fact not feeling like a wound anymore. There is a longing I have lived with which seems to be transforming, or is just gone, leaving space to love. This person is not interested in anything beyond a friendship, but without the shaming and rejecting, so I get to feel loved and accepted and valued, even if some of how I would express myself isn't something the other person wants.

Today is sunny, autumnal, quiet. I feel soft and open. Being here with some of my chosen family is so good; cooking together, sharing meals, tobacco, conversation, ideas. Great good fortune, and much gratitude.

Western Montana with family from the clinic, reunited with Chloe who yowled for the 7 months we were apart and now, after forgivingme some for leaving her, she has quieted down.

It is so beautiful here. The mountains, the sky, the people, all so nourishing for me.

I continue to ponder where to live, where to settle, what is my work...and north america , the land, offers so much to me energetically. The political environmental spiritual climate calls to me, to the training I've been receiving my whole life in preparation for...

Returning from Canada a few days ago, I experienced the most disturbing border crossing of my life coming back into the US. There was a border officer who was so sarcastic, hostile, mean, suspicious. I'll call her "Lily" and she works at the Sweetgrass Montana border crossing. Besides being completely unprofessional, it was clear that she is a hurting person, probably a heavy drinker (she had that look in her face) and she was determined to make everyone who crossed her path as uncomfortable and intimidated as she could, and she's very good at it. Vindictive is the word I thought of as I watched her harass, criticize, needle, and go through people's vehicles just because clearly she didn't like or approve of the person. I'm not even talking about the treatment I received. It was gestapo tactics for sure.

I continue to learn about generosity, faith, the great power in the web of connection that we all share when we tap into it.

A dear friend has been sharing the Reiki attunements with me. I feel like an organizing principle has been introduced into me, which allows the channeling of healing loving energy to happen in a different way...hard to describe exactly, but very wonderful. Another blessing!

My iPod died...bummer...looking for another one.

The class I was to student teach in CA has been postponed until February so I am heading west at a more leisurely pace, which is nice. I'm looking forward to camping along the way from here to Seattle.

Blessed Equinox!

I've been thinking about a few things. Here they are.

1. The US has just upgraded Alberta, Canada from 21st to 2nd most important oil reserve, and US oil and gas companies are aggressively pursuing these materials. One focus is the Alberta Tar Sands, which you can google and read about. Besides the environmental devastation that would be caused by mining the tar sands, it will take a significant amount of energy to remove the oil from the bitumen in these sands.

How much energy will it take relative to how much oil is produced?

How much of the oil that is produced will be used to wage war through weapons manufacturing, military uses, etc.?

2. This is a set of questions we can all ask ourselves, and which should be posed to politicans at every opportunity:

How much money have you made, through investments or otherwise, from the war in Iraq?

What are you doing with that money?

Do you still have investments in the war machine? If so, why?

Today I read that the current estimate of civilian deaths in Iraq due to the US invasion and occupation has reached 1.2 million people. That is 1.2 MILLION humans killed due to the war of aggression being prosecuted by the United States against the people of Iraq. That is twice the population of the state of Vermont.

I will refer to this as the Iraqi Holocaust from now on.