24 September 2007

Just past equinox, and still in Montana. I never want to leave, whenever I come here. I will head out on Thursday...I think.

Personally I'm experiencing some major shifts. I've received Reiki attunements which feels like something has been accelorated in my field. I've been running the energy, especially with Lasky due to her skin issues. I've also been experiencing reviewing old stuff, relationships with unresolved or funky endings, seeing more of where I could have done things differently, and where I see I really did do the best I could have.

A major unresolved relationship issue comes from my teen years when I first was in love with someone, which experience left me with some deep wounds around my sexuality. It is rare for me to feel those sort of feelings for someone, and there is someone I know now, who lives near where I am now, who inspires a similar kind of love in me. What's different now is that the other person is not shaming me or being rejecting, but is loving and a friend. We saw each other over the weekend, and what's happened for me is that the wound I've carried is healing, is in fact not feeling like a wound anymore. There is a longing I have lived with which seems to be transforming, or is just gone, leaving space to love. This person is not interested in anything beyond a friendship, but without the shaming and rejecting, so I get to feel loved and accepted and valued, even if some of how I would express myself isn't something the other person wants.

Today is sunny, autumnal, quiet. I feel soft and open. Being here with some of my chosen family is so good; cooking together, sharing meals, tobacco, conversation, ideas. Great good fortune, and much gratitude.

1 comment:

Shakti said...

So Beautiful to Heal....