I just gave notice at my job. I plan to head east by March 13 or so at the latest.

Now that I've made the decision I feel some relief, and still some disappointment over what happened with the person here who I thought was a friend. I also feel excited. This just isn't the place for me to settle long term, which I knew, and since the main project I came to work on has fallen through, I'm going to redirect my energies into other projects elsewhere.

Packing and shipping are now the name of the game.

Today I am working through my anger and frustration over the shift in my living situation here in Montana. Options are appearing both here and in other places, however, and some of them are very interesting to me. I'm sure to land on my feet.

One of my challenges in life has to do with being flexible in the face of unexpected inconvenience. I'm sure I'm not the only one who struggles with that at times. My experience is that once I get over the moments of surprise and my emotional reaction to that, I'm pretty adaptable.

This week's radio show pertains to these issues. Check it out.

The universe seems to have different plans for me than I had for me! The person who I rent from here, whose cabin I spent 160 hours fixing up, has told me to leave. She feels her privacy being impinged upon by my use of the bathroom in the house, and she wants to be alone. OK.

I can go anywhere I want, and Vermont does seem like the next place to go, to return home. I have no money saved, so I can only make the trip when I get my teaching paycheck at the end of March. I am looking for somewhere to go until then, or if funds arrived before then maybe I would just up and go.

I feel a little shaken up. I’m not surprised, but still it feels lousy. I have done this before, allowed myself to count on people who aren’t really there for me, and I have stayed too long in those situations before, so it’s good that this one is being cut short.

Ahhh, deep breath, everything will work itself out. It’s just sad and frustrating and stressful to be in this situation.

So the fund raising starts for the move. I will get $1500 at the end of March for a teaching gig. If someone were willing to advance that to me I could make the move asap and pay you back at the end of March.

The stress and upset of this is hitting me.

It's becoming clearer all the time...the time for me to move back to Vermont is approaching. Here is what I'm looking for/inviting to manifest in my life:

A place in Vermont, probably in the northern half, out of town but not too far, some land for a garden, chickens, my dog and cat, a house with 2 or 3 or 4 bedrooms...I'm up for a group house...low cost, willing to do some work trade for rent. I'd like a space where I can do healing work with people. It'd be great if there were an outbuilding or two, or it would be ok to build one. Solar, wind, hydro power...all good...also happy to share my expertise in installing these systems.

If you or someone you know comes across the right place and it says "Baruch!" in your mind, please drop me an email. Thank you!

I came to Montana to practice my profession. The licensing process contains a number of redundancies which slow it down. I am almost there but until then I am making $12.48 an hour, good wages for this area, working 10 to 20 hours a week.

I have a student loan which is at $38k, all interest (I have paid off at least 3x what I originally borrowed but since I haven't been working the last few years the loan has been in forbearance collecting interest). They want $269 a month from me starting in March. This month I will earn under $700. If I don't make those payments they will suspend my professional and driver's licenses, which will of course make it impossible for me to practice my profession. Crazy eh? The US Congress passed that measure in 2005. This creates a catch-22. If you can't pay, you lose your ability to make a living, then you can't pay for food or housing either. Can debtors prison be far off?

When I was traveling and not employed I had more money in my pockets and less money stress than I do working and living somewhere. I feel like the message is getting clearer for me...drop out entirely, let the US and it's economic slavery go fuck itself.

So I am saying these things, and compared to many I have it easy! I don't have the responsibility for a bunch of kids, a mortgage, etc. There are millions of people in this country who are sinking fast.

And to top it off, the system which created this, and which stole the wealth of the nation and gave it to a few CEOs and politicians, is also responsible for killing, starving, poisoning, torturing, and basically brutalizing more hundreds of millions around the world.

Gee, great country we live in!

I am very happy to report that my neck is no longer hurting, the nerve pain down my arm is gone along with the tingling and numbness. Yay!! It's amazing how much energy it takes for me to cope with constant pain, and when the pain is gone all that energy becomes available for other things, like feeling good and being creative.

It is overcast here in the Bitterroot Valley today, and in the mid 40's F. I have this feeling of springtime, though I know it is really months away. The smell of the thawed earth, the warmth in the sunshine (when it's sunny) and the surge of energy from not being in pain all fill me with excitement.

I have been following the news some. Lots of really bad decisions being made by Obama regarding expanding faith based government funded ventures, poor choices for cabinet posts, continued US war mongering and brutality, continued squeeze on civil liberties. As the economy continues to sink into the abyss, the proposed stimulus package is looking less and less reasonable to me. If instead of bailing out corporations the government just sent everyone $50k most people would be able to pay off a lot if not all of their debt which would make the banks solvent, get people out of debt and allow for a revitalization of the economy. There would have to be wage and price freeze along with the payout to prevent inflation from running amok. But what we seem to be getting is more bailout for corporations, and some needed infrastructure and education repair.

We shall see what we shall see, eh?

Some friends are here working on their travelling permaculture demonstration schoolbus/home. Check out permibus.org it's pretty interesting. The website is not finished but we're all working on it.