Ah yome sweet yome. I'm back on the ranch. It's great to be here. I feel very welcomed home. There have been some changes since I left in January. One person is gone, two other people are here as caretakers, there are more chickens and less vegetables in the garden. The apple trees are overflowing with great fruit and there are still figs on the tree! Lasky and Chloe are right into their routine. There is less water.

It's great to see the people here, and the land. I am already starting to unwind, though there is more quiet relax time ahead which is great!

The trip across country was amazing, with wonderful companionship, great visits, effective work, adventures, adversity, etc. Much gratitude!

Mendocino County, off in the hills, off the grid, sunshine, warm, quiet. We left Seattle on Tuesday and got here Wednesday afternoon. It feels good. Up north the rain and low pressure were getting to me. Here, I am decompressing.

I'm so in love with the green man. He's all around. There's so much life and juiciness, even in these drier lands.

Tomorrow I'll head to the ranch.

Just past equinox, and still in Montana. I never want to leave, whenever I come here. I will head out on Thursday...I think.

Personally I'm experiencing some major shifts. I've received Reiki attunements which feels like something has been accelorated in my field. I've been running the energy, especially with Lasky due to her skin issues. I've also been experiencing reviewing old stuff, relationships with unresolved or funky endings, seeing more of where I could have done things differently, and where I see I really did do the best I could have.

A major unresolved relationship issue comes from my teen years when I first was in love with someone, which experience left me with some deep wounds around my sexuality. It is rare for me to feel those sort of feelings for someone, and there is someone I know now, who lives near where I am now, who inspires a similar kind of love in me. What's different now is that the other person is not shaming me or being rejecting, but is loving and a friend. We saw each other over the weekend, and what's happened for me is that the wound I've carried is healing, is in fact not feeling like a wound anymore. There is a longing I have lived with which seems to be transforming, or is just gone, leaving space to love. This person is not interested in anything beyond a friendship, but without the shaming and rejecting, so I get to feel loved and accepted and valued, even if some of how I would express myself isn't something the other person wants.

Today is sunny, autumnal, quiet. I feel soft and open. Being here with some of my chosen family is so good; cooking together, sharing meals, tobacco, conversation, ideas. Great good fortune, and much gratitude.

Western Montana with family from the clinic, reunited with Chloe who yowled for the 7 months we were apart and now, after forgivingme some for leaving her, she has quieted down.

It is so beautiful here. The mountains, the sky, the people, all so nourishing for me.

I continue to ponder where to live, where to settle, what is my work...and north america , the land, offers so much to me energetically. The political environmental spiritual climate calls to me, to the training I've been receiving my whole life in preparation for...

Returning from Canada a few days ago, I experienced the most disturbing border crossing of my life coming back into the US. There was a border officer who was so sarcastic, hostile, mean, suspicious. I'll call her "Lily" and she works at the Sweetgrass Montana border crossing. Besides being completely unprofessional, it was clear that she is a hurting person, probably a heavy drinker (she had that look in her face) and she was determined to make everyone who crossed her path as uncomfortable and intimidated as she could, and she's very good at it. Vindictive is the word I thought of as I watched her harass, criticize, needle, and go through people's vehicles just because clearly she didn't like or approve of the person. I'm not even talking about the treatment I received. It was gestapo tactics for sure.

I continue to learn about generosity, faith, the great power in the web of connection that we all share when we tap into it.

A dear friend has been sharing the Reiki attunements with me. I feel like an organizing principle has been introduced into me, which allows the channeling of healing loving energy to happen in a different way...hard to describe exactly, but very wonderful. Another blessing!

My iPod died...bummer...looking for another one.

The class I was to student teach in CA has been postponed until February so I am heading west at a more leisurely pace, which is nice. I'm looking forward to camping along the way from here to Seattle.

Blessed Equinox!