20 July 2009

Last night I was in the presence of two musicians who played beautifully. Charlie Messing on guitar and vocals and Ben Littenberg playing stand-up bass; they graced the wbkm studio for Paradigms.

That was the good part.

Somehow, I am not sure how, the show did not get recorded. I could swear I clicked on "Record" but when I went to prepare the podcast of the show there was no file to work with. Since the software works I can only conclude that somehow I screwed up. How embarrassing, and disappointing because the music Charlie and Ben played was really wonderful. Luckily they have agreed to be on the show again, and this time I will get the recording done properly!

I had a visit with a friend yesterday; someone I've know for 25 years or so. We are both at times in our lives where, let us say, the gilt is off. Both in our 6th decades, not partnered, living lives that are not particularly part of the status quo, both of us are observers and people who are in service to the greater whole. I was talking about needing to be less susceptible to feeling the distress around me, her response was that perhaps my skin is too thin. It's true. I have always been an empath but I used to have better shielding. At least I think I did. Lately I have found that my shielding is not always so great. So I tend to not go out into "the world" so much because I just don't want to deal with the distress I witness. I also find dealing with the human bureaucratic systems to be frustrating, pointless, and just plain stupid.

Each in our own ways we struggle with or face similar stuff, even though the forms are different, our stories have their own unique content and qualities.

This question I work with on Paradigms, "What are our visions of a viable future for life on Earth that includes humans?" has added a dimension to my personal journey. By working that question I keep having to face it's shadow, which is something like "There is no viable future for humanity." I haven't said that on the air, but that statement is IN the air during each interview, and each broadcast. Who, that is paying attention, isn't thinking that at least some of the time, or wondering about it? I know I'm not the only one. I've thought that in a way Paradigms is a radio program to watch the end of the world by. I don't want to feed that idea, the hopelessness, but it's there and I can't ignore it.

In the interview with Marc Sapir MD that aired on last night's Paradigms, Marc said something to the effect of "some day the sun will explode, and life on Earth will end..." and of course he's right.

The answer I get from within me when I visit these ideas is...focus on the now. Feel the aliveness. Cherish the moments. Witness the beauty, and add to it when and where possible.

Yes! Yes! Yes!

This morning, just past midnight, I went outside to feel the starlight during the dark moon. I love doing that. I called the quarters, I gave my thanks and made my wishes for a thicker skin with an open heart, more joy and clearer thinking (like remembering to hit "record" during a radio show!).

It is my observation that we really are all in this together, whether we know it consciously or not. The deeper the numbness perhaps the further that awareness is from consciousness, nevertheless it is true. We are all in this together.

No comments: