Seeing from a Distance

Watching the US from abroad for nearly half a year now, it really looks like things are about to implode.  The radical right continues to make inroads, promoting hate and fear, lying about everything, pushing the christofascist agenda.  These things have a cycle.  I don't know if/how it can be rolled back.  It sure looks like karma to me.  The genocide against the native people, the enslavement of Africans, building a nation on that foundation, how can it not eventually turn in on itself?

 

There are so many people working hard to stave off the violence and ecocide.  That's beautiful.  Resistance to fascism has always required bravery and commitment. We saw it in WWII.  We've seen it in Chile.  We saw it not succeed in Nicaragua, Venezuela.  We see the antifascist movement in Spain courageously pushing forward.

Humanity as a whole has yet to awaken to what we are and how good it could be for everyone.  As long as the greed and fear of the minority (of underdeveloped people) thrives, this will continue.  I am just here to say that we have choices.  Each and every one of us can choose who and what we are in the world.  Every single day we each choose, whether we do it consciously or not.  So, with love, I say...choose deliberately what you are in this world, because you matter, your choices and actions matter!  💕‎

Happy Birthday!

Today I am 63 years old, 63 times around the sun in this body. I don't make a big deal about my birthday but the truth is I really love my birthday, I always have.  When I was small it was always a special day.  My mother made it so. So today I miss my mother, gone almost 19 years.

Like every other day I start out by feeling the grief that punctuates everything these days; grief over the endless losses that are part of life, but mostly the waste and cruelty perpetrated by humans. Watching the United States slip into christofascist theocracy is like watching a horror show, only it's real.  Women are dying due to the rollback of reproductive rights. Trans kids are committing suicide. School children live in daily fear for their lives, and nearly every day a fresh batch of them are murdered. And let me tell you, as a therapist who works with teens, I hear about their fear, I see how it damages our beautiful young people to know they could be gunned down any day at their school. This is real.

We're not supposed to point fingers and blame, but I am pointing and blaming.  The perpetrators of this crime against humanity, this hateful religious fanaticism is brought to us by Christianity.  The cult of Christianity is bent on dominating all life, controlling everyone and everything.  It is a pathological ideology being promulgated by sociopaths who only value having power over others.

I hope people rise up and cast these nazis down.  They deserve to be crushed, not literally but figuratively.  The churches should be destroyed.  Not with violence, but by being repurposed. They are not houses of worship any longer, they are now headquarters for hate groups. They are organizing centers for actual nazis. This must not be allowed.

Nazis?  really?  Where are the death camps, you ask.  Understand, Hitler didn't start with death camps.  He built up to them.  That is what's happening in the US.  Already politicians like Marjorie Taylor Greene have called for the rounding up of trans people.  We see the rollback to Jim Crow happening in states like Florida and Tennessee.  We see Republican politicians proposing the death penalty for women who have abortions and those who aid them.

How far will this be allowed to go?  When I say "allowed" I mean that everyone who obeys a christofascist judge or rule is actually allowing this.  Everyone must resist.  Ignore the rulings and laws passed by christofascists.  Do it blatantly, loudly, and often. That means you, and me, and everyone we know.  So spread the word, it is time to defy them at every turn. Take action!  Your life may depend on it, surely your liberty does.

David Crosby...Hail The Goer!

 I'm listening to David Crosby singing the Joni Mitchell song "For Free" and getting ready to start my day seeing clients for psychotherapy.  I see around 30 people a week, give or take.

Some days I wake up and think about the day before me and I have a sense of how it'll go, usually feeling positive.  Some days I wake up and feel overwhelmed by the day before me, by what I will do and by the world in general.

It's been this way for many years, for me...it's all one long day, with sleep periods.  A day goes by fast, a week goes by fast, months and years...speeding by.  I was 5, I was 15, I was 44, now I'm almost 63.  It goes fast. 

There's a lot of beauty and wonder in this life, for me at least, and also a lot of sadness and frustration with what I see, have seen my whole life; humans continuing to make choices that destroy beauty and wonder and innocence, from our wars to our polluting, from our fear-mongering religions to our exploitive economics, humans are doing that thing of repeating actions we already know are deadly or immoral, and hoping for different results this time, this time, this time.

Like many others I tell myself "there are better ways for us to be" and strive to embody those, but we are all part of the dysfunction; buying, using, throwing away...even when we recycle and compost, it's pretty difficult (not impossible) to live in a way that doesn't contribute to the polluting and exploiting. 

I find that I want to end these blog entries with some sort of concluding statement, but I don't have one.  I am left hanging with the big questions just like everybody else.  At least we are in it together.

What have we done?

This planet is amazing.  It provides everything we need on the physical plane and much inspiration and beauty for our ineffable selves to be nourished by.  And yet in just over a few thousand years we have turned much of this place into a polluted toxic hellhole, and the areas we haven't polluted yet, we're working on polluting as fast as we can.  Humanity seems to have some kind of deathwish.  I can't say I really object.  ALL the life forms on this planet would be better off without humans.  There are no life forms who benefit long term from human activity, including humans!  

Many philosophers, poets, and other artists have observed the contradiction that lies deep within humanity. We are capable of such creativity and of engaging with life in gentle loving ways, but we are also capable of immense cruelty, of ignoring what's right in front of us, and of a selfishness that is a betrayal to our kinder nature and to all that is offered to us by nature.

Many of us spend our lives attempting to put something good into the mix, healing, awareness, kindness, honesty.  The image I have is of walking through a toxic minefield scattering blossoms, which are lovely and fragrant but still the toxic minefield grows, extending in all directions. I don't know about you but I am feeling exhausted by this.

I'm not looking for solutions or answers or to be comforted.  This is how it is here.  Coming to terms with it is painful, sad, and can take my breath away.