Have you ever heard of or tried Kombucha? I have a friend who told me about it, he's into many things fungal. It's a mushroom that grows in liquid. You drink the liquid and it's a super pro-biotic tasty drink.

OK drinking mushroom culture sounded kind of disgusting to me, so I didn't try it for a long time after my friend told me about it. When I was in Vermont this last time I was thirsty and went to the big overpriced natural food store which used to be a co-op, and I wanted something in glass because I am avoiding eating and drinking out of plastic, so I got a raspberry kombucha. It was pink and carbonated and tasted like any other good pro-biotic drink, and was really good. It wasn't sweet. Afterwards, the next day, I had the best morning shit. Sorry, but these things do matter and we never talk about them.

When I was preparing to drive west I wanted a half gallon glass bottle for water since I am not into buying water. I couldn't find one. I ended up buying a half gallon of kombucha in a glass bottle thinking I would drink it and use the bottle. Instead I have been drinking it, and refilling it and feeding it. I refill it with green tea with fresh ginger brewed with it, and feed it with agave syrup or brown sugar, let it sit out for a couple of days and it gets cookin'! If you've never tried it, do. It's good to read up on it by clicking in the link above before doing anything.

Today I feel ill at ease. We are over the edge and sliding. What's happening behind the scenes is insidious. It's happening and hasn't been unveiled yet. So much hangs in the balance.

Now more than anytime in my life it is time to keep the connections strong, to energize the web of relationships and awareness we each are part of, ultimately it's one web...life!

Today I put up massage posters, watched an episode of "Heroes," wept, played guitar, danced, drummed, and now I'm writing this. I also did a tarot reading for myself. Johnny Clegg on the stereo, from his most recent album. There's a ton of energy moving through me right now; feeling, thought, and just life force.

Morning in western Montana. It's cold and blustery, cloudy, snowing in the mountains a few miles away. My morning routine these days is to get up, have a cuppa joe, and tune into a few news sites online. I like to add my comments to articles in the Washington Post online and NYTimes online, though both of those newspapers have demonstrated that they are controlled by the right, one can participate in the online discussion by commenting on articles. The NYTimes screens posts before publishing them, and if one is too strident they won't print your comment, but the WaPo is instant publication.

It is fascinating to read what others have to say. Easily 95% of the posts are anti status quo (McCain) and pro change (Obama). The buy-in to polarization is easily 99%. Rarely do I see a post that is not ideological.

I like adding my $.02 to the discussions. I have become less and less vitriolic, but sometimes I do express my outrage, and if it's an article about Bush I feel fine expressing utter disgust. It's a fun pastime, and I do learn from reading some of the posts.

It is easy to hide behind one's computer and post whatever. There are folks out there posting vile hate-filled missives; people who would probably be afraid to spew their hate face to face but feel safe doing it online.

I found a massage table and a massage chair at a really low price this week and spent my last dollars on them. Tools of the trade! I did two tarot readings yesterday at the one really funky cool store in town, for the two women who run respectively the clothing/consignment part of the store and the metaphysical books and supplies part of the store. That was really fun and useful to the two women. They invited me to work out of their store anytime doing readings and massage. That's exciting! I also have an interview this coming week with the local mental health agency for a very part-time on-call crisis worker position. I also made contact with an agency in Missoula that does outpatient work with youth and families, and I think I will do some consulting work with them. Also exciting to me. I'm in the process of renewing my counselor's license in Vermont, and will be able to use that to obtain a license here in Montana. I can see that I will have all the work I want here, and I'm really excited to have such low overhead so I can charge a reasonable amount for my time and services, and be accessible to people who don't have much money.

The last 4 years have been very important in my life. The murder of my mother incited a riot in my mind, in my soul, in my life, so that I am much more congruous, more in line with my own ethics. Thank you Mom! Today I wish I could call her and tell her what I'm doing, and hear about what she's doing.

Seems to me that a lot of folks are waiting with bated breath to see what will happen next with the economy, the election, with the environmental crisis that's upon us. I say...don't sit around with bated breath, do something! At the very least talk about stuff with acquaintances, friends and family. At the most, do something radical like reducing your overhead, reducing your carbon footprint, refusing to buy into the lies being promulgated by the US corporate government. This is no time to be passive. We each have gifts, talents, skills, perceptions...if we use them, even if we go down, we go down with some integrity...and maybe, just maybe, using our abilities may save us from going down.

Now, I am not one who believes that humans are the crown of creation, and I do see that while we do not have to be, we have been and are a blight on this beautiful Earth. However, we can be part of the solutions, each of us, but we have to choose that. The status quo is to keep consuming ourselves to death, but we have a choice, each of us every day. Our species needs a 12 step program!

Watching the debate I saw a number of things:

1. McCain is physically very rigid. He can barely move his head. I know he has a terrible set of injuries to his arms from his time as a POW but beyond that he holds himself very rigidly. I have been a body oriented psychotherapist for over 25 years. McCain's body language suggests a rigid character and a lack of connection with his emotions.

Obama moves with confidence, he is not rigid, and his body language suggests someone who is grounded, who is connected with his emotions as well as with his thoughts.

2. McCain has obviously had botox treatment on his face. Botox paralyzes the small muscles of the face, creating a rigid mask. Human beings, as we age, change. Our faces change to reflect what has happened to us, our experiences, and our character. Botox creates essentially a mask which hides the true face of the person. What would McCain look like without Botox? What would his face show about his character if it weren't chemically altered by Botox? What is he hiding?

Obama’s face is expressive. He shows who he is with his face, he is not wearing a mask.

3. McCain used a lot of platitudes and attacks, but rarely said anything specific. His responses to the questions lacked substance. He focused on broad ideological responses, but didn't answer the questions.

Obama also didn’t answer the questions directly. He did describe a coordinated set of responses to curent situations, and made connections between the economy, education, and security, and he was less vague than McCain.

I came away from the debate thinking...McCain is an old man who, naturally, cannot see a future because his life is coming to an end. He is not forward thinking because his natural life span is about to end. Obama is younger, and has a future in front of him. He is in the middle of his life span, so he naturally envisions a future.

I would rather have an emotionally connected forward thinking president than a sick old president. I would rather have a president who sees the connections between the many aspects of our country than one who sees things as a top-down power structure pyramid.

“Flexibility is kin of life. Rigidity is kin of death.” -Lao Tzu