New Strategies for a Different World

Growing up in the US has been about getting through school, maybe even college, finding work, having friendships and relationships.  For some people it means surviving adverse conditions, white supremacy, police violence, but for everyone regardless of level of privilege there is always the idea that if you play your cards right and have some good luck you just might end up with a life you want, amount of luck depending on numerous variables.

"Getting what I want" is the driving force behind capitalism, which is destroying the world.

Now we are faced with a global pandemic, likely being used to commit genocide in some places, being successfully subdued in others.  Here in the US west the fires have created a new normal of toxic smoke and all it brings; toxic soil, sick wildlife and pets, gardens we cannot eat, and more.

After 2 weeks of not seeing the sky, and breathing in noxious fumes, I panicked and started preparing to move back to Vermont.  I mobilized friends and family and found an apartment to move into and have been getting ready to move, but with misgivings.  Big rent, in town living with my dog who is a country dog (as am I!), the drive across the country; all fuel my doubts.

Indecision has never been a big issue for me.  Generally I have a good idea of what choice to make in most situations.  That's been one of the things that I appreciated in this life.  Now I am not feeling decisive.

What I am realizing today is that my fantasy of my comfy little life where I work as much as I want and can take breaks without huge financial strife, where the sky is blue and the soil is not poisoned and I can grow things and enjoy...lovely images, have lived parts of it, but right now we are in a time where what I want is not even close to the top of the priority list anymore.  In order to respond effectively to the many stressors we are all facing, I need to rise to the occasion, and put my own personal wants aside so I can focus on the tasks at hand.  It's a challenge. Translated this means...stay in the toxic zone and help heal the soil and the air and the water.

I am not deciding, I am exploring possibilities.

It's about relinquishing ego and attachment. The ongoing work.