Baruch's Blog

Last night I was lying in the yome in the dark, feeling my belly gurgle, asking my intestines for a night of NOT running out to the shitter every 15 minutes...and I got what I asked for. I slept and dreamt. Thank you gut! Today I am still sick with whatever it is, or at least the purging from within continues.

Back to last night in the dark, remembering the ritual death that precedes the rebirth of the shaman, embraced being in the dark, aware of "my situation." I have removed myself pretty far from mainstream america. I don't work at a job like most people. I don't have health insurance (well I guess that's pretty mainstream now). My bank accounts are nearly empty. I don't own "real" property. I have less possessions than at any previous time in my life save infancy.

All that brings me to an interesting crossroad in identity, in self concept. I could be afraid of being in freefall, of "not being ok." And I do have a touch of that, but mostly I feel the satisfaction of being on the right path. I have viable plans for 2008 which are congruous with my values. Relationships with people, animals, plants, and places all supersede my relationship with materialism. Life is good.

I've written two pieces recently and submitted them for publication. One is called "Hope in Troubled Times" and the other is "Setting Limits on our Sociopaths."