Grief and Emergence

On October 3 my dear friend Zack died.  He was a 15 year old dog who had an amazing life.  He was kind, smart, funny at times, and very very much a person.  His natural body smell was like sugar donuts.  He inspired love in people who don't even like dogs. We were together for just over 10 years, together most days, most of the day, and he slept on my bed at night.  I know his death was approaching, he was old for a dog and a few months after we moved to New Mexico, he started to lose his appetite. He lost weight and became weaker and weaker, and finally it was time.  Horrible, awful, devastating, so so sad; I miss him all the time.

It's been almost 3 months.  I am starting to emerge from the depression of grieving for Zack.  Yesterday I went for a hike and today I worked out.  First time for both since Zack died.

2021 has been a year of grieving for our world, for the biosphere which humans continue to destroy, for the bare minimum of human decency which is being shredded by fascists, for all those suffering under the yoke of imperialist violence, for all the animals being mistreated by humans, etc etc.  I could go on and on.

I have never been one to deny my feelings, so I feel sadness and frustration about all of this.  I feel it every day.  I am not the only one, by far.

We really are all in this together. I am not a Christian by any means but when Jesus is quoted to have said "Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me" that quote resonates with me big time.  Until humanity matures and stops giving power to narcissists and other psychopaths, we will continue on this destructive path.  

Most humans are not narcissists, but we keep electing these psychopaths to seats of power.  They make promises and people buy into it, even after being deceived over and over.  Politicians are Lucy with the football and the voters are Charlie Brown. Don't you wish Charlie Brown would just walk away from Lucy, just once? It is the rest of us who keep electing these psychologically malformed persons, that need to mature, to stop looking for solutions from people in power and instead to insist that they actually be in service to the common good.  

May 2022 be a year of enlightenment for us all!

Uncertainty and Anxiety

 We live in uncertain times.  Covid, political unrest, climate change, all big issues that concern all of us because they threaten our well-being.  Humans instinctually do what it takes to survive, or at least what we think will allow us to survive.  Right now our survival faces threats that are biological and social, and these overlap.  The Corona Virus presents the most obvious threat to our survival, but since it has been politicized in some countries, like the US, there is overlap between the biological and the political.  Likewise climate change threatens our lives, and the politicization of climate change creates overlap again.  In other words, these three things all overlap in a Venn Diagram.  The point is that yes it is real, threats to human survival exist.

Humans are sensitive creatures.  We perceive with our physical senses and we perceive with our emotional senses.  We detect emotions in ourselves and others, and our emotions are often in response to our experiences.  We experience emotions regarding the threats I outlined above.  

If you are having emotional responses, if any aspects of our reality cause you to feel sad, or angry, or afraid, you might also be feeling some anxiety.  Anxiety is one of your body's natural responses to stress. It's a heightened state wherein your adrenal glands are activated, fueling your mind and body to respond to the stressor.  Sometimes anxiety is like an alarm, sometimes it's like a massive storm.

There are a variety of techniques one can employ to reduce anxiety.  Pharmaceuticals is one.  Nutritional and/or herbal remedies can also be helpful.  Learning to regulate your nervous system through mindfulness and breathing is perhaps the most accessible since it doesn't require a trip to the doctor or the store.

Relaxation & Finding Inner Teachings is a set of three audio recordings which lead the listener through a guided imagery experience designed to reduce anxiety and increase a sense of well-being.  If you have no experience with meditation or guided imagery, these are a great place to start.

If you are someone who already knows how to meditate or engage in deep relaxation, these tools can help you to reduce anxiety.  Knowing how to do something and remembering to do it, however, are two different things.  I encourage you to remember the tools you have, and to use them. You may already have at your disposal methods to make you feel better, even during these uncertain times.

Hey Empaths This Is For You!

 The trick to not being emotionally laid low by the world is to differentiate between one's personal challenges which one can effect, and the big "humanity sized" challenges which are rarely affected significantly by one person, and to adjust one's responses accordingly.

We all face whatever local challenges we face, in relationships, work life, finances, etc.; whatever these happen to be. We are able to make choices in these arenas, more or less, depending on a number of variables including the cultural or societal, depending on where we live.

Then there are the big humanity sized issues that change more gradually, and usually through social movements.  These are very gradual, groups of humans effect change on the global scale at a much slower rate than we individuals do in our local scenarios.

I have experienced, and may other empathic people have told me similar stories, a lot of distress from and about the big human issues; our brutality, corruption, and all that stuff.  It can be painful to be aware of these things, and we now have awareness of so much of what happens in the world because of the internet and the ubiquitous devices bringing us information all the time.  It's a bit much!

What I am learning is that if I separate out my personal local stuff from the big humanity sized stuff, when I am feeling most clear, I can choose to be aware of the big stuff and respond to it in whatever ways I choose, and not be laid low emotionally by all that, or at least be laid low emotionally less severely and less of the time.  If I focus on making my local situation as good as I can, and am fortunate to exist in a context where I can do that and appreciate that, it fuels my resilience for responding to the big stuff.

Responsibility, the ability to respond; if I can respond, especially in a creative or helpful way, however small, to the big issues, that also fuels my resilience in dealing with my local personal life issues.

People who are strongly empathic can find themselves experiencing empathy fatigue.  By working within ourselves we can reduce and maybe even prevent that.

This Human Journey

 Today I am recovering from my second dose of the Moderna Covid-19 vaccine.  Last night was rough; fever, aches, very unpleasant. Today I am better, though exhausted from last night.  I'm sure all that informs how I am feeling.

Reading about what's happening in Myanmar, children gunned down in the street by soldiers (with Russian weapons, supplied by Russia), dozens killed yesterday, and dozens in the weeks since the coup, and how many more?

10 people gunned down by yet another young white male shooter in the US; where is the response that says we must address why and how our society creates these killers?  I don't see it.  I don't hear it.

Violence is one of humanity's most enduring problems, our violence.  War, domestic violence, violence on the streets, the systemic violence of racism (Georgia passing Jim Crow voting restriction laws this week), violence against women (Minnesota Supreme Court ruling that it isn't rape if the woman ingested alcohol prior to the forced non-consensual sexual activity) and the list goes on and on.

Are we evolving or are we de-evolving? I wonder.