Here is something I don't understand. A man, veteran of one of our government/corporate wars, shoots himself in the head in a public park in Burlington and no one is talking about the implications of that. What does it mean that this man, one of so many veterans who commit suicide, chose to do this in a public place? What is the statement? Obviously it is a cry of terrible pain, but is it more? When a monk or a nun immolates themself in Tibet it is seen as a clear political message. Why is that type of analysis missing in this situation? It is easy to say "Oh the occupation is unsafe, look what happened" but what we should be asking ourselves is "what does it mean about our way of life that a veteran kills himself in a public park?"

Addendum November 16

I was mistaken. The man who shot himself was not a veteran. I still think that there is a bigger picture to look at when someone kills themself in a public park.

It is a sunny day in San Francisco. I hear the cars going by on Bush Street below me. The friends I am staying with have gone out for a bit and I am working on my radio show for tomorrow, responding to students and enjoying the change in perspective one can receive taking a break from the day to day, traveling.

It has been nearly 7 years since I sold my house, closed my therapy practice, and went on sabbatical. I feel a sense of coming full circle...or at least the sabbatical coming to an organic resting place, transitioning into something else.

There is a body of work in my past; as a therapist, as an educator, as a producer and host of a radio program. I’m in my 50’s. I am starting to perceive a sort of cohesive quality to all of what’s come before. It’s all coming together, my past gathering itself into something whole, forming a new starting point where I can draw from my past learning and go forward. I’m feeling more excitement and inspiration than I have in a while.

If I have one piece of wisdom to share, one piece of advice to give, (something I benefit by remembering!) it’s this. Never underestimate the value of true friendship.

Tonight I will attend the 32nd annual Spiral Dance! Tomorrow night I will share some of that on my radio show. If you are hungry for magic, tune in!

I have just launched an IndieGoGo campaign for Paradigms! This is an opportunity for people to support the show, including making it possible for me to take on an intern to help with research and to learn how to create their own programming. I'm pretty excited! Check out the campaign here.

Like many people I am watching what’s happening in the world, from extreme weather to extreme politics to extreme human-made environmental disasters and cruelty...the list goes on and on. I am wading through my own personal distress to stay aware of the bigger picture. I am not alone in this.

I said to a friend yesterday “I used to be so organized, now I wear pajamas to go out visiting or to town to do errands.” It is all I can do to keep track of what is in front of me, let alone the bigger broader concerns.

I see the possibility, still, of another world than the one we have made. I can see a world where people are kind and think about the wellbeing of others, and the Earth. I see a world where people treat non-renewables with great care, reuse everything, where the words “garbage” and “trash” are obsolete. I see a world where everyone is valued for what they can contribute to the common good. I see a world where the conglomerates we now call “government” and “corporation” no longer exist, and where sociopaths are cared for while being prevented from seeking or achieving political or economic power. I see a world where war is unthinkable, where every birth is wanted and every death acknowledged. My vision is broad and deep and far reaching. I know that many others have such visions.

I have foreseen and written about what will happen with humans on Earth if we do not change our behavior. I’m sure that many others have had these experiences as well.

The question I see before me now, always, is not what are my politics or who do I sleep with (no one currently) or whether or not I support abortion rights, it’s about finding ways to participate which support the common good. That can mean helping a friend or helping someone I don’t know. I am fortunate that my paying work is in alignment with the value I hold of supporting others in their learning and in becoming more conscious of the life of the Earth. It is a small contribution but I know that at least some of the people who take my classes do go on to use what they learn. But it doesn’t feel like enough. Maybe there is no “enough.” I suspect that is the case.

In contemplating all this I always come to the same cognitive dissonance. I understand intellectually but do not “get” how people can make decisions that are so heartless. Obama is set to decide (he has already decided) whether or not to approve an oil pipeline from the Alberta tar sands to the Gulf of Mexico. It is already clear that this would be an environmental disaster, an economic nightmare, and will continue the process of enriching a few while impoverishing many. Obama, and the rest of the US political establishment, have made it clear time and again that they do not care about the people, they do not care about the Earth, they care about money and power and political expediency. This pipeline is just one example of thousands which point to the psychopathic mindset of those “in power.” At some point, maybe sooner than later, “The People” will have had enough. Something will be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Here in the US so many are inured, numb, stressed by just surviving, they can barely even think about resisting the forces that are coming down on them, so I don’t know what that last straw could be, but it seems inevitable.

In the meantime, we do what needs to be done, and we find inspiration where we can.