Rough couple of days. Anniversaries can be brutal. The last few days have been the 7th anniversary of my mother’s murder. I don’t know about you but for me this kind of thing is like being run over by a train. Twice. It’s not a cognitive emotional process it is visceral, cellular, autonomic. Now it is the end of the day. Seven years ago tonight the worst was over, or at least the initial shock. I still feel like I am in shock seven years later. I thought that somehow perhaps magically the number seven would lessen the intensity but it didn’t. Oh well. Next summer I am going to plan for this very differently.

I know a lot of friends and family have been thinking about this in the last few days and I feel the love flowing between us, amongst us. Gratitude.

We've been in the new place for a week. Phew! I feel myself decompressing from what was really an unhealthy abusive situation; grateful to be out and processing the experience. Anger, disappointment, betrayal, incredulity, pity, compassion, frustration...so many feelings and thoughts all winding down to a sense of relief.

The new place is funky, nice, warm, dry, not moldy, not stinking of cat shit, no weird oppressive energetic pall. It's good. It's sad to not have the wonderful garden outside the door, but next summer we will.

I am watching a documentary about Harry Nilsson. It's out there to watch for free, check it out. This guy felt a lot, experienced his pain, and was brilliantly creative. He took whatever it was that was inside him and brought forth music that affected the world, still does. Perfect timing for me right now, feeling depleted and not overflowing with creative inspirations.

Ah, it's all a process!

The last month has been completely about making this move, thus no new radio shows lately. I am looking forward to recharging and getting back to Paradigms. Next Sunday, August 14, the P.M.P. Band will be on Paradigms live in the studio. Tune in, it should be a lot of fun and good vibes!

As my housemates and I prepare to move, I am processing a lot of feelings about this experience. Once we are out of here it will be easier to move forward. I am learning more about boundaries, about how overly trusting I am, and once again about how there are people who are just not aware of or don't care about integrity, who say one thing and do quite another. In this world at this time, with all of what's going down, I am clear that my energies are best spent with people who are congruous, honest, and who care about others, so that is who I choose to be with.

Many thanks for all the love and support from friends and family through this!

I'm looking for a place to live! I'd like to find a cabin or small house for 1 or 2 people and my dog, with electricity, running water...the basics. I am, unfortunately, in a situation where it would be best for this to happen sooner than later as my current landlords have proven themselves not to be people who follow through when it comes to making the building watertight, etc. In any case it doesn't work for me.

Any and all leads would be appreciated!