Three weeks since my last entry. In that time I celebrated the 50th anniversary of my birth. Yay! There have been a few small gatherings, much cake eaten, some wonderful heartfelt talks, and I’m not done yet.

I started doing a written inventory, which was interesting, but then I dropped it. It isn’t necessary to create a detailed list of where I am at this point in my life, but it has been wonderful to do some assessing. Suffice to say that, at 50 years old, with many joys and sorrows behind me, within me, I am inspired enough, interested enough, to want to experience more life.

Today I am in what is essentially a human made cave; an earth-ship dug into the south-facing side of a hill, rammed-earth filled tires for retaining walls, glass facing south, wood stove, with a snow storm outside. It was springtime weather 2 days ago, I was naked in the sun, and now there are 20” of snow on the ground and it’s still falling.

I love the cozy snug feeling of a fire in the stove, snow falling outside, cats lounging about the place.

Full moon, Beltaine nearly upon us, the quiet of this place...I am nourished.

Today I see in the news that Barack Obama has requested an additional $33 BILLION for his war in Afghanistan and Pakistan.

It made me wonder about the children of presidents. US presidents all leave office covered with the blood of innocent people. It's been thus for quite some time. How do their children deal with this? Malia and Sasha are young, but in the not too distant future they will understand that their father has ordered the murders of thousands of women, children, and men whose only crime was that they lived in an area coveted by the US government and the corporations that run it.

When Sasha and Malia have children, will they give a thought as to whether or not they should leave their kids with Grandpa Barack? The depravity that has settled in his heart and soul will not just disappear. He will live the rest of his life knowing he is a murderer. His wife knows it. His friends know it. Of course no one will say it to his face, but they know. I know. You know. Like Bush before him, and Clinton before him, and Bush, Reagan, Carter, Ford, Nixon, Johnson, Kennedy, and back and back. That is, after all, the american way. This country, founded on slavery and genocide, has proceeded to kill, rape, and steal, on a global scale.

Some people might call me anti-american for saying such things. If being pro-american means justifying all this killing, then I am anti-american. If being pro-american means reveling in the blood of innocents, then I am anti-american. If being pro-american means agreeing with bankrupting the country, consigning the poor to more poverty and enriching the wealthy 1% that owns 99% of the wealth, then I am anti-american.

Love my country right or wrong? That is a position taken by unevolved immature foolish ignorant people. How can anyone condone what this country has become?

The US isn't the only nation state to exist on the blood of innocents. Many countries on Earth embrace the same immorality, lack of ethics, boldfaced greed and cruelty. But I live here, and so I am commenting about this country.