19 May 2020

Death is personal

Last night I watched on my computer screen as my oldest brother died.  He was in the hospital with Covid, experiencing organ failure.  Our other two brothers and their families were there too, on Zoom.  Adam was unconscious but we talked to him and played some of his favorite Jazz in the background for a couple of hours, then the nurse extubated him, and then he died after a few minutes.

I've been through the deaths of my parents, closest friend, other close friends, lovers, clients, colleagues, and animal friends.  Grief has always been present in my life.

When someone has always been part of your life and then they die it's world changing.

When someone you love is murdered it's a special kind of trauma.  When someone you love is murdered in a genocide perpetrated by the President of one's own country, well I don't have words for that yet.

3 comments:

John Reed said...

Reading this, I wasn't sure whether to feel sadness or anger, so I settled on both. Please accept our deep condolences Baruch and our good wishes for a kinder, nicer world.

Tobiah said...

Having sat for 4 days with my Mother, I received massive comfort from hoping she knew I was there and from talking with her and telling her I loved her. It almost felt like a party at certain points. Your bother had everyone he loved around him, even if not physically, and on some level he will have heard you and felt very loved. As John said here’s to a kinder and better world. All our love and condolences to you and your family.xx*

Jane said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Even though we don't speak...I think of you often...LOVE.................