24 September 2007

Just past equinox, and still in Montana. I never want to leave, whenever I come here. I will head out on Thursday...I think.

Personally I'm experiencing some major shifts. I've received Reiki attunements which feels like something has been accelorated in my field. I've been running the energy, especially with Lasky due to her skin issues. I've also been experiencing reviewing old stuff, relationships with unresolved or funky endings, seeing more of where I could have done things differently, and where I see I really did do the best I could have.

A major unresolved relationship issue comes from my teen years when I first was in love with someone, which experience left me with some deep wounds around my sexuality. It is rare for me to feel those sort of feelings for someone, and there is someone I know now, who lives near where I am now, who inspires a similar kind of love in me. What's different now is that the other person is not shaming me or being rejecting, but is loving and a friend. We saw each other over the weekend, and what's happened for me is that the wound I've carried is healing, is in fact not feeling like a wound anymore. There is a longing I have lived with which seems to be transforming, or is just gone, leaving space to love. This person is not interested in anything beyond a friendship, but without the shaming and rejecting, so I get to feel loved and accepted and valued, even if some of how I would express myself isn't something the other person wants.

Today is sunny, autumnal, quiet. I feel soft and open. Being here with some of my chosen family is so good; cooking together, sharing meals, tobacco, conversation, ideas. Great good fortune, and much gratitude.

21 September 2007

Western Montana with family from the clinic, reunited with Chloe who yowled for the 7 months we were apart and now, after forgivingme some for leaving her, she has quieted down.

It is so beautiful here. The mountains, the sky, the people, all so nourishing for me.

I continue to ponder where to live, where to settle, what is my work...and north america , the land, offers so much to me energetically. The political environmental spiritual climate calls to me, to the training I've been receiving my whole life in preparation for...

Returning from Canada a few days ago, I experienced the most disturbing border crossing of my life coming back into the US. There was a border officer who was so sarcastic, hostile, mean, suspicious. I'll call her "Lily" and she works at the Sweetgrass Montana border crossing. Besides being completely unprofessional, it was clear that she is a hurting person, probably a heavy drinker (she had that look in her face) and she was determined to make everyone who crossed her path as uncomfortable and intimidated as she could, and she's very good at it. Vindictive is the word I thought of as I watched her harass, criticize, needle, and go through people's vehicles just because clearly she didn't like or approve of the person. I'm not even talking about the treatment I received. It was gestapo tactics for sure.

I continue to learn about generosity, faith, the great power in the web of connection that we all share when we tap into it.

A dear friend has been sharing the Reiki attunements with me. I feel like an organizing principle has been introduced into me, which allows the channeling of healing loving energy to happen in a different way...hard to describe exactly, but very wonderful. Another blessing!

My iPod died...bummer...looking for another one.

The class I was to student teach in CA has been postponed until February so I am heading west at a more leisurely pace, which is nice. I'm looking forward to camping along the way from here to Seattle.

Blessed Equinox!

17 September 2007

I've been thinking about a few things. Here they are.

1. The US has just upgraded Alberta, Canada from 21st to 2nd most important oil reserve, and US oil and gas companies are aggressively pursuing these materials. One focus is the Alberta Tar Sands, which you can google and read about. Besides the environmental devastation that would be caused by mining the tar sands, it will take a significant amount of energy to remove the oil from the bitumen in these sands.

How much energy will it take relative to how much oil is produced?

How much of the oil that is produced will be used to wage war through weapons manufacturing, military uses, etc.?

2. This is a set of questions we can all ask ourselves, and which should be posed to politicans at every opportunity:

How much money have you made, through investments or otherwise, from the war in Iraq?

What are you doing with that money?

Do you still have investments in the war machine? If so, why?

Today I read that the current estimate of civilian deaths in Iraq due to the US invasion and occupation has reached 1.2 million people. That is 1.2 MILLION humans killed due to the war of aggression being prosecuted by the United States against the people of Iraq. That is twice the population of the state of Vermont.

I will refer to this as the Iraqi Holocaust from now on.

15 September 2007

Edmonton Alberta, teaching Iron Pentacle with a wonderful witch here and a lovely group of people. It's so beautiful on the prairie. Last night we slept in a park with the buffalo. Tuesday we head south, pick up the cat in Montana and then head to the coast!

i am well. I am tired from driving over 3000 miles in 7 days. I am very happy to be traveling with a dear friend and brother who I met in New Orleans. I am adjusting to being back, and pondering the many options before me.

I see that people are realizing the dire situation with the corrupt US government, the untenable war situation on earth, the environmental disasters starting to domino, etc. It is gratifying to see awareness rising. It seems to take a lot to wake people up, but it does happen.

10 September 2007

We're in northeastern Minnesota near lake Superior, where they had a super hot dry summer until a few weeks ago when it started dumping rain. I got here just as the rain ended, a couple of nights ago, but it looks like rain again. It's quiet and beautiful, and gives me a chance to hear how much noise is inside my mind. It's not loud but it's there. I'm definitely looking forward to being quiet for a while.

The advanced EAT originally scheduled for October has been postponed until February, so the event driving my early October arrival in northern California is no longer a factor. I'm thinking...hmm...now what? I head to Edmonton for a workshop, but after that, do I continue to go west? Do I go back east? Italy?

I did a tarot reading and it was intense. Basically what's in front of me is my life...all of who I am, all of what's happening within me and around me...the world is there and where should I be in it? My friend here asks, where am I most effective? I felt very effective in Europe, and in Israel.

I have $50, and a check was sent to my account in Vermont and should clear any day now. I am facing the reality of bottoming out financially, and wondering how to respond to that.

07 September 2007

On the road in eastern PA. Hot weather, all kinds of drivers, beautiful scenery. It's interesting to be on my way again, still. I'm looking forward to seeing people along the way and once I get to CA.

I had some brilliant thoughts while driving but they all seem to be escaping me now.

Last night I stayed in Watkins Glen NY. They were haqving their annual vintage car grand prix nearby, and lots of the folks with old cars were in the campground. The smell of auto exhaust was heavy until late in the night when they turned off their cars and went to sleep. Fossil fuel culture.

Me driving...fossil fuel culture.

02 September 2007

I'm in Vermont for a few more days seeing friends and family, then I head to New Hampshire to visit friends and then I head west, first to Chicago, then Minnesota to see a friend in the wild land, then to Edmonton Alberta in Canada to teach Iron Pentacle...then to the west coast, Seattle, Portland, and back to California to student teach with Starhawk at the advanced EAT.

I have been offered a housesit in Italy for a year starting in October. I won't be able to get there until February, but then I will have most of 2008 to be there in a small medieval village
between Genova and Nice. Yay!

It's been wonderful to stay with my brother and his kids, to see dear friends, and to be in Vermont. Lasky and I just went to our favorite swimming hole near the place we lived in Bolton. COLD water! Clear mountain stream, beautiful pool...so nice.

The camper is on eBay and getting a lot of looks and questions. I hope it sells this week.

I am looking for a camp stove, something small...preference for a coleman 1 or 2 burner propane stove. Anyone along my way who has one they'd be willing to lend or donate, please give me a holler! Other than that we are all set to go. The truck is packed, the camper is empty and cleaned out, the truck will get an oil change and break check Tuesday, money is coming, and I'm ready. Lasky is always ready.

It's sad saying so long to people. It was hard to leave my brother and the kids, and there are more partings coming up, but the connections stay strong, and each parting leads to the next greeting so it's ok.