Random musings in early 2019...

Some people find treasures when they go to the sea; jewelry, shells, sponges...all in the sand.  It’s a talent.

When I go to the sea I find moments of transcendence.  The water on the sand.  The light in the water.  The sound that never stops and is always soothing.  The sensation of ebb and flow that comes and goes after immersion. The smell.  The sensations of water and sun on skin. These are my treasures.

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I like material comfort as much as the next person.  I appreciate beauty with an aesthetic that has been developed with intention. But the physical world is not what my sights are ultimately set upon.  

The images of the cosmos that we have, thanks to the technology we call science, has provided us with an easy conceptualization of what is beyond Earth’s thin layer of atmosphere. I focus on these images in my mind, often, and as part of describing to myself and contemplating where and what I am in a meditative experience.  I see myself sitting or whatever, the room, the building, the locale...always moving out (up?) seeing concentric spheres of geography, if you will, until I see the planet, the solar system, the galaxy...and out and out...all that great NASA Star Trek imagery informing images of space and the cosmos.  I find comfort in this.

Then gradually coming back, eventually returning my awareness to this body in this place.

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In the morning when I awaken I am still and peaceful...for a moment.  Then I feel tension rising in my body and my mind remembers where I am and what is in front of me and then I feel anxious, and a desire to burrow back into sleep and dreams, and stillness and peace.  No such luck though. I know that I will get up, so I do...and the anxiety diminishes as I move into activity. But always this sense of...like I am wearing a garment that is just a little too small.

Leaving 2018 behind

This has been a tiring year.  Every day more nonsense and nazification in Washington DC. It has been an ongoing exercise in coping with lies, cruelty, and destructiveness.  It's tiresome.

Every week I produce 90 minutes of original audio content.  It's good stuff, I respect the material, however it means always being on a production schedule with all that entails and that's tiring too.

One of the challenges I accepted during 2018 was to be less a bearer of bad news, and to be more a bearer of positivity.  That worked out pretty well. 

The work I do, the audio programs, are intended to inspire, and they do, from what people tell me.  I'm glad they do.  That's definitely part of my deal here on Earth, to offer good stuff to the world.  I chose this, I love it, and I'm glad I'm doing it.

Underneath all of that, deep down, all there is inside me is love of nature and animals, and a feeling of the primordial Earth...that's really all. The rest is fleeting.